The Strength of Love
Chapter 15 - Disappointment and Acceptance
Rin, more animated than he had ever seen her, began shooting questions at him almost non-stop. “Where have you been? What was wrong with me? Where are we exactly? How did we get here? How long has it been now? Where is Jaken? Who was that woman you were with? When will we be leaving?” This last question made him sad, for he was again about to give her bad news.
Sesshomaru had released her and sat on the edge of her large bed. He waited until she ran out of steam before speaking. “Let’s see… I have been here, just in other parts of the castle. It is the Princess Aara’s castle by the way. You fell ill during the storm we had almost two weeks ago. It took several days to travel here, during which time you fell unconscious. That means you would not wake up no matter what I did. You have been here, under the healer’s care, for three days now. Jaken cannot remain indoors, so he has gone back to his clan. As for the woman, I assume you mean the Princess. She is the only woman I have kept company with.” Rin had known the answer to at least two of the questions, but she wanted to hear it from Lord Sesshomaru. She was still very unsure of anyone else. She had not, after all, had much good fortune with other people.
“And when will we be leaving?” Her look, so innocent and full of expectation, made him cringe inside. However, his demeanor was calm.
“That is what I am here to talk to you about.” When her look turned to one of confusion, he gently pulled her onto the bed next to him. He was not looking forward to this, but it had to be done. “Rin, I know you would like to stay with me indefinitely, but that just is not possible.” When she opened her mouth to protest, he gently placed his clawed finger against her lips, silencing her.
“Let me finish. We have traveled together for half of a year, and you have eased my loneliness.” With a great sigh and a pause, while he gathered his thoughts and formed the words so she could understand, he continued. “About twenty-five years ago Princess Aara made me an offer; one which we mutually decided against pursuing. She offered to have me come live with her here, and be one of her males.” He explained what that meant before she could ask. “She has five other males. Each one, in their own way, protects her and her lands. But they all live here, with her and each other. This is what she offered me. When we came here three nights ago, she again made me the offer. I had decided to decline it. She, apparently, had also changed her mind. However, when she came to my room to tell me of her decision, things became… a little bit complicated. We were attracted to each other, as men and women sometimes are. Without going into details with you, we made love, and she bound me to her. Neither of us intended for it to occur, but it did. I am now bound to Princess Aara and her other five males; bound by love and loyalty. I must not, indeed cannot, leave her to continue walking my lands.”
This last was said with only a touch of regret. He had found happiness here. He wished it to continue. He had already begun formulating plans to protect his lands as well as hers. His life had changed in the blink of an eye, for the better. Poor Rin, however, was once again being thrust into a situation she had no control over. As he said these words to her, he watched as tears began streaming down her face. He did not know how to ease her pain. Awkwardly, for he rarely initiated touch, he pulled her into his lap and cuddled her. They sat that way, the great lord and the heartbroken child, far into the night.
The pair discussed everything that had come to pass. He explained that she would have a home here at the castle as well. However, he would be coming and going quite often. Taking care of her lands as well as his, and with the distance between, was going to be a difficult and taxing task. While he could travel at lightning speeds, his time would still be taken up, largely, by the Princess when he was home at the castle. Rin could not travel with him back to the Western Lands. He would not allow it after her sickness. He now knew he could do nothing for her if she were to become ill or hurt. It was best for her to stay at the castle while he was away. In silence, her tears long dried, she listened to her white demon as he talked more that night than ever before. She loved the sound of his voice, and it lulled her to sleep, still sitting in his arms.
Rin, her spirit only somewhat lightened in the knowledge that she would have a home here and her white demon with her, was almost the happy child she had been before. She spent as much time as she could with Lord Sesshomaru, but he was distant when he was with her. Always kind, but somehow lacking the affection he had once shown her. It seemed the night she fell asleep in his arms was the last night they would ever have the bond they had shared for half a year. She saw less and less of him as time went by. She was beginning to remember their time together as little more than a dream, much as her former life in her own village.
One day Rin, who had finally had enough of exploring the large castle’s insides, was in the garden, humming a little song to herself and smelling the flowers. She was alone, as she usually was. The only children at the castle were those of the farmers and other Otherworld residents that came by for an audience with the princess or to trade or give supplies. So, Rin was alone most of the time. The children that did come were busy helping their parents and had no time to play. She had never had a playmate since the old man’s great-grandson, though, so it was not a loss to her. She had gotten used to playing when she had been Lord Sesshomaru’s companion, but she always played alone. Jaken refused to give in to her entreaties to gambol about, and Sesshomaru was not the playful type. On this day she was soaking up the sun and enjoying her own company.
When she heard quiet voices coming from the other side of a large wall of flowering bushes, she hesitated, torn between leaving whomever it was in peace and staying to enjoy the day. Her decision was taken out of her hands, however, when the Princess Aara and her companion, a male by the name of Kurama, appeared from around the bend in front of her. Rin simply curtsied, one of a few things Kaiba had taught her, and moved off the path to allow the couple to pass her. She was surprised when they stopped in front of her instead.
“You do not have to bow to me child. That is reserved for court. Here we are all just the same.” This was accompanied by a beatific smile.
Rin, not used to others speaking much to her, was stunned into silence at first. Then “But Kaiba said I should curtsy to you.”
Aara laughed gaily at this. Kaiba had always been a stickler for manners. Aara turned to Kurama and asked that he leave her with the child. Kurama, none too thrilled that he was being dismissed, absently nodded to Rin and departed. Aara took the child by the hand and walked for a little while in the direction Rin had been headed. They came to a spot under a blossoming cherry tree and sat on a bench. “Now, you must tell me all about your adventures with Sesshomaru. He is so quiet; it is hard to get him to talk about much of anything.”
Rin sat silently for a few moments, not sure what she was supposed to say. Then she started her story with her parents. The pair spent most of the afternoon discussing Rin’s rather unhappy childhood. Aara, listening to her speak, felt sympathy for the child. She reached out at one point, and laid a kind hand on her arm, unobtrusively feeling her out. When she felt mostly acceptance instead of self-pity, Aara drew back. She knew this child was a very strong-willed survivor. She was very glad that Sesshomaru had taken her with him, despite his self-proclaimed lack of care for humans. Aara could not help but see how this child had warmed his heart. She was uncommonly bright for a child her age. She did not, however, expect the overwhelming emotions for Sesshomaru that she felt in the girl. She sincerely hoped the child would realize, in time, that it was mostly gratitude.
Princess Aara did not attempt to form any affection for the child, though she allowed her free access to come and go around the castle as she pleased. She knew that the girl still needed Sesshomaru’s attention when she could get it. She also knew as time went by that that same attention was growing less and less frequent. Rin seemed to be weaning herself from him in her own time. For that, Aara was glad.
Rin spent her days exploring the castle inside and out. She came across all of Princess Aara’s other five males in due course. Of them all she liked InuYasha the best. His appearance was that of Sesshomaru’s, but for his adorable ears, sticking out on top of his head. They looked soft to the touch, but when he caught her staring at them, her intention plain on her face, his low growl was enough to make her back off with a giggle. His appearance also differed in that he wore a red kimono, the material of which she had never seen. She asked him about it one day, when they were alone on his balcony. He told her it was fire-rat fur, and his mother had given it to him when he was but a toddler. She did not question him further, as his face became unreadable. She knew there was tension between him and his brother, and that it concerned InuYasha’s mother, so she left the subject alone.
On one of her explorations Rin came across a door she had not seen before. She decided to find out where it went. When she opened it, she was amazed to find that it extended onto an entirely new wing of the castle. It was very dark, however, and Rin had to search for candles before crossing the threshold. When she finally did, and the door closed behind her, she found herself in almost total blackness. Not being timid, she began following corridors. The further she walked, the colder the air became. It wasn’t long before she was able to see her breath every time she exhaled. Why was this part of the castle so cold in the middle of summer? She intended to find out. After all, she had been told she had the run of the castle. Surely there was nothing and no one here that would harm her.
As she rounded the corner of a hallway she gasped and stopped in her tracks. There, in front of her, was the smallest woman she had ever seen. So tiny was she that Rin at first believed her to be a child.
“Its okay, child. Don’t lurk there in the hallway, come inside.”
The woman had invited her in! Rin could only do as she was asked. Now that she was here, she was intrigued by this woman.
Yukina introduced herself, as did Rin. She explained that she was an ice maiden, which was why her side of the castle was so cold. Rin nodded mutely, still fascinated by the woman. She was drawn to her in some unfathomable way. Yukina explained that there were indeed windows here, but when Toya, an ice demon much like herself that shared the wing, was not here, she preferred the darkness. Yukina, sensing the child’s loneliness, began asking questions of her, and she responded in kind. It was late that evening before Rin took her leave of the kind ice maiden. She had made a friend! The first female friend she had ever had! She was happy when she left, and made a promise to return again the next day. Very early on in her stay Rin had come upon the entrance to Kaiba’s tower. Having been given permission to explore at will, she did not even pause before ascending the stairs. When she came to the top she was greatly surprised to see Kaiba. He was sitting in front of a large desk, piled high with books, opened and closed; papers, ledgers, ink, and all manner of vials. She did not wear shoes, and he had not heard her pad into the room. When he finally noticed her, he almost dropped the quill he was writing with. He had been deep in his own mind about a potion he was currently working on. Her entrance unnerved him, but he could not understand why. He smiled at her despite her surprise entrance. “What are you doing here, child? This is no place for one such as you. You should be outside, playing in the sunshine, not cooped up indoors.”
Rin wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so she simply stood her ground, turning in a small circle and taking in all of his books. “Have you read all of these?” She did not know how to read, and someone that could read all of these books must be incredibly smart!
The mage grinned at her look of awe and answered that yes, he had read all of them. Some of the shelves also contained ledgers, he explained, that he had written. He watched her as she walked around the room, occasionally touching a book or a scroll. He saw an interest there. An idea began forming in his mind. “Would you like to learn how to read these as well?”
Rin, thinking she had not heard him right, turned to him and asked him to repeat it. When he did she was momentarily speechless. No one had ever asked her that before! Did she want to learn how to read? She pondered it for only moments before crying out, “Oh yes! That would be wonderful!” She went to a shelf of scrolls and pulled one down. When she unwound it, she held it out to him, upside-down and said “Teach me this one first!” He laughed in delight at her enthusiasm. This would be a fun chore indeed! Maybe if he spent enough time in her company, his discomfiting reaction to her nearness would lessen. She was, after all, a mere child. He shook his head to clear it, and began with the letters.